Thursday, May 23, 2013

35 years and counting. IRS, Obama twice, Crazy Muslim in London, Miscarriage

I have lived 35 years on this earth today. Up to this point I have seen way more than I ever thought I would. Currently, America is swirling down the toilet of immorality and tolerance while the president is on vacation (again). The Church has been quiet and has been afraid to speak up because of hate speech from ultra-liberal groups. Their has been killings and wars, disasters of every kind under the sun and worldwide economic recession and in some countries, complete collapse of governments and banks. However, this is no different from 35 years ago. I have seen the old footage of cars lined up for miles at gas stations and a lame duck president, wars and pestilence. What I am saying is that there is nothing new under the sun! All is presently getting worse not better and it is not just because I have a bad attitude. This world is going to end one day! Maybe not tomorrow, or in another 35 years, but it will end. The things I think about a lot are what I have done over the past 35 years. I think the first 16 years were pretty good, I had good friends and family around me most of the time. 17-21 I strayed away from all the good people in my life and lived a horrendous and selfish life. I walked away from God and what I knew was right. 22-35, I met my wife, got married, had kids. I have been in a million different jobs, most of them I hated. Gone from $8,000 a year to $60,000 a year, no benefits to full benefits. I still rent a duplex but we are comfortable. My newest child (Baby Hannah) will be here any day now. I have gone through sickness, health. My wife had a miscarriage and we got through that somehow, but for the grace of God! I went to three different colleges and finally ended up with a degree in ministry. Got a job as a youth pastor, quit after a year and regret it just about every day of my life. I have tried different ministry jobs but never been hired again after that. My eyes have been open to what this "church" is not what Christ talks about as his Bride, but is a very corporate system of rules, morality and luke-warm bible teachers that border on the heretical most weeks, band-aided sinners who never care enough about who they believe in to try to walk in holiness like their Savior. I am not bitter, I will just not participate in the charade of emptiness, it is not real and their is no purpose to it. I have learned that most things that I thought were me, just describe me, they don't define me. I am not the chubby, funny and loveable guy that can make people feel better, I am in Christ. I can do nothing apart from him. I have also learned that I will probably always live in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction because the standards that I try to live to are Christ's standards and not my own. I live in an upside down kingdom where wrong is right and right is wrong. There is no way for me to correct this because I am a mortal, finite and impotent man. The more I shrink from the picture the more Christ is fully shown in and through me.

I watched the video today of the man that chopped the British soldier to death with a meat cleaver. My first reaction after the shock of nobody interceding for this man was rage. If I had been in Britain that day I would have walked up behind that man and cracked his neck like an action hero is all the movies. In a matter of seconds all of it would have been over. Death would have given the story a proper and complete ending for that waste of life! 35 years and that is what the world has come to, murder in the public in the light of day. Is there any hope for the Church to rise up? Can the Bride prepare herself for the coming of the Bridegroom with a little more urgency? Why is she sleeping? She should be riled up! Aroused from her sleeping and brought forth from her chamber to show to the world the splendor of the Bride of Christ! Where are you? What have you done?

 I saw a map of the path of the tornado in Oklahoma. The storm was going toward an open and empty area and then it cut back to totally level some elementary schools and a hospital. So sad that children and sick people were hurt and killed. Someone asked me why God let that happen? I just answered him with a question, "How many days did those people that died or get hurt have before the storm hit them?" The reality is, everybody has there day. For some it may be 1 year, for others it may be 114 years. Whatever amount of time you have on this earth is what is allotted to you. It doesn't matter if you die in a tornado or of old age, God is good and he will continue to be good forever. It is not his will that people die and get sick or that storms wreak havoc or wars or pestilence happen! The only reason any of this happens is because of a man named Adam. He sinned and passed down death to all of his descendants and with that death brought war, storms, sickness and any other terrible thing. Why did the tornado blow the way of the schools? I don't know, but I do know why death happens and why all people die. It is so that one day we have a chance to take on new life with Christ in a glorified body on a new earth with a new heaven near by. To be able to experience the glory of God without death and fear.

I said earlier that my wife had a miscarriage, her name is Naomi. I know that even though we never met her on this earth, that she is in heaven and she is safe and much happier with the Father than she could ever be here with this father. Although I miss her and wonder what she is like all the time, I am happy for her. I cried for her for quite a while, but that was only because I missed her.

35 years and I understand much less than I did in my 20's. I am sure that in 10 more years I will admit that I know less than I did in my 30's. But this one thing is for sure, there are only 2 things in life that are important: Jesus and people. There are 2 things you will have after you die: Jesus and people. If you are a believer you will have Jesus as a friend and Lord, with people that are serving Jesus as friends and worshiping him as Lord. If you don't believe in Jesus you will have Jesus as your judge and he will punish you and your friends in hell as your friends weep and gnash their teeth with you in the lake of fire, still worshiping him as Lord.

I don't know what God wants to do with me, but it seems like rambling on is one of them.......
Jake and Becki