Jesus and Saul

I was listening to the Gospel of John and the Acts of the Apostles today and could not help wondering why the disciples and all of the people that were around Jesus and Saul (later called Paul) were so blatantly ignorant of the truth when it was right in their faces? I believe I heard Jesus say about 5 different times that he was the Christ and that he was God and that if they do not follow him, they will die! Or how many times did Paul get up before the Sanhedrin and tell the story of the Jews through their patriarchs and prophets, etc, all the way up through David's line to produce Jesus Christ? I was getting frustrated listening to the repetition, over and over again! Then I hear Paul say, "Fine, if you don't want to listen, then I will take the Gospel to the Gentiles!" Amen! How real is this issue today? We talk and talk until we are blue in the face and no one wants to listen. Fine, if you don't want God's grace and mercy through Jesus Christ, then you will be judged by Moses and the Law. I don't know about you but I want mercy, all I can get!

In my 31 years on this earth and 12 years following Jesus whole-heartedly, I have found that following Jesus is the hardest thing any person on this earth can do. I literally fail everyday to earn any place near my Savior because of my blatant turmoil of sin. There is barely a minute that goes by that temptation is not at my door knocking. Sometimes I turn my head, other times I dive right in. I guess Paul had it right when he called himself a wretched man. Jesus said that apart from Him we would have no place in his Kingdom, no one comes to the Father except through me, and I draw all men to myself. Praise Jesus for his sacrifice, as painful as his walk must have been, I thank him that he was not all talk.

Every day I long for a closer love with Jesus, I see that I am less worthy with every step I take toward him. I see my sin and tremble at the thought of Jesus seeing them too. I hate the sin that I have in my life and I do not live in guilt, but I live in a state of constant depravity. When I see one thing I do not want to do, then I turn my head and see another thing I do not want to do. This world has nothing for me!